From “The Waltons” to “The Griswolds,” to ”Love at the Christmas Table,” we have visions of family holiday gatherings from the most sublime to the most absurd with variations as plentiful as there are families.
It is never too late to start planning for this year’s holiday table. This year is a great opportunity to bring everyone back into a loving family relationship. Maybe our table will not look like The Walton’s or Vanity Fair’s picture-perfect spread. We may be using paper plates, plastic silverware, and red solo cups. However, the holiday is about the people sitting around the table.
Over the last several years we’ve maybe had more tension within our families that has made it more difficult to gather together. It’s time for us to remember that God is calling us all together as one in unity. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” It is very important to start reaching out to family members that live far away because they may have to make travel plans. You may have to start planning and decide if you can host the gathering in your home or secure a location. Don’t panic and think this has to be an expensive event.
The goal is making sure everyone within the family, those physically near and far, as well as those who are prodigals are invited. Let this holiday season be one of reconciliation, the soothing balm of Gilead, a chance to rekindle family, a chance to experience family without the trappings of all that’s been going on around us within the political, religious, and world news. Let this time be an opportunity to allow family members to tell the stories so that the younger children will have history and knowledge of the heritage to which they belong. As we have moved away from the frequent family get-togethers, the kind that I remember as a kid, we have become very disjointed and segmented and we’ve lost our identity. We’ve lost our identity as a family, we’ve lost our identity as a community, and we’ve lost our identity as a church body. I believe it is time to reestablish whose we are. We are the children of God set here on Earth to reflect his glory and His glory is having love one for another.
This holiday season offers an opportunity to add personal reflecting activities without overwhelming those who may not feel comfortable in a Christian environment. Establish a seating chart using name tents. You can intermingle the older with the younger or seat those whom you know may be lonely or awkward next to someone that is easy to talk with. On that name tent you can also add a small scripture about thankfulness because our main focus this holiday is to be thankful. We know as Christians we are thankful because of God. Allow everyone, young and old to say something for which they are thankful. It can range from thankfulness for the turkey, thankfulness for a toy, or thankfulness for the family getting together.
We need to be prepared for when “Uncle Billy” is having a strong, opinionated conversation with “Grandma Lily” that we don’t jump in and try to squelch the conversation. Our goal is to pray and quickly ask God to speak to our hearts of how to handle the situation so that everyone is heard. Knowing that as we navigate the conversations that are difficult, but needed, we are creating opportunities to become closer as family. Everyone’s not going to always agree on every point. Our job is to facilitate going forward with love demonstrating God’s plan and purpose for this holiday and our family gatherings to reestablish identity.
At the close of any family gathering on both sides of my family, we gathered in a circle, holding hands for a closing prayer. This prayer included the youngest to the oldest. I would say this is where my cousins and I learned to pray. It wasn’t big or showy, it was an expected part of our family identity.
You may want to choose someone in advance to pray so no one is put on the spot. For MANY years that person was my dad. The prayer can be short including: thankfulness for family members present and the joyous time shared, safety and protection as everyone parts and travels home, as well as safety and protection in our homes and jobs, and an increasing experience of God in our lives.
May our efforts to include all family members during this holiday season be an extension of God’s marvelous love expressed to humanity as recorded in John 3:16, “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Let us demonstrate our great love for others by including them in our family gatherings and putting away any animosity that would harm our family identity.
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God bless you. Stay hopeful! ❤️
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