We’ve all been there at some time or another- the new kid in town, at school, or as may be the case for you- a new church. Making friends at a new church can range from terrifying to slightly awkward, even for the most extroverted among us. Today we’re going to talk about a few tips and tricks to help you through those uncomfortable first weeks (cough, months) at a new church. Let’s assume you’ve already decided to make a new place your church home, since the process of actually picking a new church is a lot more involved that what we’ll cover today.

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1. Just say “hi”

You really already knew this, you were just hoping there was an easier way. I’m sorry to be the one to say it, but you just have to put yourself out there a little. Ask the Lord to lead you to someone who needs a friend. Look for people who are off to themselves. Sometimes just saying “hi” can be all it takes to start a conversation, and from there, a friendship. Sometimes it’s also a way to realize that particular person is not looking for a friend! That’s ok! Move on. Try not to look at something like that as personal rejection. Have you ever heard the saying, “rejection is protection”? I like to think of it like that…if someone doesn’t want to be friends with me, maybe it’s God protecting them, me, or both of us from a friendship that would end up being unhealthy or untimely. 

2. Join a group

If your new church has community groups, small groups, discipleship groups, service groups or something like that, it’s a great way to meet people. Nothing kindles conversation faster than shared interests. On the other hand, great friendships can also start from learning something new from someone you’ve just met! 

Some churches have what’s called a Newcomer’s Dinner, where people who have just started attending in the last few months come together for dinner and to meet the staff (and of course, each other.) These are such a great idea, especially for relatively large churches, because they ease the tension of trying to figure out who everyone is. You meet the staff, so you know who to go to for discipleship questions, and who’s in charge of how the nursery is run, etc. They also help you to meet people in the same boat as you are: people new to the church. Ask someone if your new church has Newcomer’s dinners and if not, maybe you could suggest it to them!

If neither one of those options are available, introduce yourself to the pastor and ask if there are any other new people at the church you could be introduced to. It might just be an answer to someone’s prayer. 

3. Find a place to serve 

It’s no secret that out of a church’s regular attendees, sometimes a very low percentage are actually volunteering. There’s very rarely a time that a church doesn’t need help somewhere. Find out where help is needed and start there. You’ll be surprised how fast you’ll meet people. If you love working with children, volunteer in the nursery or children’s church. Every parent that comes to the door is a potential friend. Use that time to figure out what your passion or gift is (if you don’t already know) to get into the right volunteer position and get ready to thrive! 

While starting at a new church isn’t easy, it’s an opportunity for a whole new circle of friends and supporters. If you’re not willing to take a step (no matter how small) and reach out, you may find yourself bitter and lonely, wondering why nobody made the effort to reach out to you. I’ve found that mostly everyone wants to connect, and many find it very difficult. Be the one to make the first move. You might be surprised where it leads you. 

Do you have any tips and tricks for making friends in a new place? Share them below!

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God bless you. Stay hopeful! ❤️