In this day and age of arguing online, it can be really challenging to control your responses to people who have drastically different views from your own. I will be the first to say, when someone disagrees with me and I think they’re completely wrong and I am completely right, these just fly out the window and I don’t even consider them. I need to do a better job of that. I think there are three character traits to strive to have in the middle of conflict or disagreement:

1) Remain kind. 

You can talk through all sorts of disagreements without them turning into fights if you can remain kind. The next two tips can help you position your heart and mind to be able to stay kind. Before you respond to a challenging situation, ask yourself if what your about to say is coming from a place of kindness. 

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4.32 ESV

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2) Remain soft.

You can be firm in your views and your beliefs and remain soft-hearted towards people. Remind yourself that we are all made in God’s image and we’re all loved by Him. People form their opinions based on all of their experiences, feelings, upbringing, and perceptions and we would be wise to listen to why people feel the way they do. 

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3.12-13 NLT

3) Remain humble.

It seems like so many of the bitter arguments and disagreements we see all around us come from a place of pride and unwillingness to listen to each other. We should be asking ourselves if we feel deep down like we know everything, if we think we have figured it all out and that’s why someone’s opposing views upset us so much. If that’s the case, we need to turn to God for forgiveness and turn away from that prideful attitude. 

When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Proverbs 11.2 NIV

Challenging Yourself to Control Your Responses

When you can’t control what’s happening all around you, I think it’s important to challenge yourself, to control the way you respond to what’s happening. It’s the response that gets you in trouble half the time. I had this situation happen to me recently, where I was not invited to something and it was kind of awkward. I had these feelings welling up inside of me- I don’t know if it was anger, but it was definitely disappointment and, and maybe a little jealousy too. Then I kind of checked myself and thought, you know what? I am experiencing these feelings and they’re not for any good reason. I literally challenged myself on the way I responded to the situation. And after I worked through that, I was able to take a deep breath and move on.

I hope these thoughts are helpful as we all walk together through these troubled times.

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God bless you. Stay hopeful! ❤️