So we went to a popular family restaurant. We had to wait quite a while to be seated because of the crowds, but the boys were behaving, and I thought maybe this wasn’t so bad, and there won’t be any food to put away or dishes to do. We ordered our meals and started eating. Our three-year-old finished first and was standing up in the booth, looking over at the kind older couple eating in the booth behind us.

And then it happened. Our son was sick, to use a nicer word. All over everything. Our table, the booth, and the booth of the couple behind us. We were mortified. He had shown no signs of not feeling well, and in fact, ate just fine (which contributed to the problem). The staff brought us piles of napkins, but there was no fixing this. We packed everything up and headed home.

Earlier today, I saw a list of books that are “guaranteed to inspire thankfulness every day.” I looked at a few of them; they were alike in many ways. The authors encouraged readers to practice gratitude daily, look on the bright side of events, and focus on and think about the good parts of your day. They provided journaling exercises and specific phrases to repeat to help instill gratitude.

To me, the books all seemed to promote forced gratitude, kind of a “fake it till we make it” proposition. Some days, maybe we need that, but I think if we remembered, really remembered, where everything we have comes from, it might not be so hard to feel thankful. The Bible tells us that every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above (James 1:17).

Every good thing is from God. If we tried to make a list of literally everything good in our lives, it would take the rest of the day. Yes, we have bad days and sad things happen, but if you know God, you have a lifelong comforting friend, the ability to be heard by the Creator of the universe, and the hope of knowing you have no more fear of death.

Was I thankful that Thanksgiving we tried to go out for dinner? I’m not sure: I still cringe at the memory. But I know I could have and should have been. Thankfulness isn’t just for perfect meals or perfect days. We have so many blessings, and even just the basics – place to live, food, family and friends, clothes – all come from God. But as good as all our blessings are, the apostle Paul said he counted everything he had as garbage for the sake of Christ. All the things he could have valued, he threw away so that he could have Jesus. He knew the value of what God did for him, and everything else was nothing next to that.

If you know that for yourself, it does not matter what you eat for dinner. It won’t even matter if your kid gets sick all over everything and everyone. Knowing the worth of Jesus will overwhelm you with gratitude and make every day Thanksgiving Day.

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It is never too late to start planning for this year’s holiday table. This year is a great opportunity to bring everyone back into a loving family relationship. Maybe our table will not look like The Walton’s or Vanity Fair’s picture-perfect spread. We may be using paper plates, plastic silverware, and red solo cups. However, the holiday is about the people sitting around the table.

Over the last several years we’ve maybe had more tension within our families that has made it more difficult to gather together. It’s time for us to remember that God is calling us all together as one in unity. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” It is very important to start reaching out to family members that live far away because they may have to make travel plans. You may have to start planning and decide if you can host the gathering in your home or secure a location. Don’t panic and think this has to be an expensive event.

The goal is making sure everyone within the family, those physically near and far, as well as those who are prodigals are invited. Let this holiday season be one of reconciliation, the soothing balm of Gilead, a chance to rekindle family, a chance to experience family without the trappings of all that’s been going on around us within the political, religious, and world news. Let this time be an opportunity to allow family members to tell the stories so that the younger children will have history and knowledge of the heritage to which they belong. As we have moved away from the frequent family get-togethers, the kind that I remember as a kid, we have become very disjointed and segmented and we’ve lost our identity. We’ve lost our identity as a family, we’ve lost our identity as a community, and we’ve lost our identity as a church body. I believe it is time to reestablish whose we are. We are the children of God set here on Earth to reflect his glory and His glory is having love one for another.

This holiday season offers an opportunity to add personal reflecting activities without overwhelming those who may not feel comfortable in a Christian environment. Establish a seating chart using name tents. You can intermingle the older with the younger or seat those whom you know may be lonely or awkward next to someone that is easy to talk with. On that name tent you can also add a small scripture about thankfulness because our main focus this holiday is to be thankful. We know as Christians we are thankful because of God. Allow everyone, young and old to say something for which they are thankful. It can range from thankfulness for the turkey, thankfulness for a toy, or thankfulness for the family getting together.

We need to be prepared for when “Uncle Billy” is having a strong, opinionated conversation with “Grandma Lily” that we don’t jump in and try to squelch the conversation. Our goal is to pray and quickly ask God to speak to our hearts of how to handle the situation so that everyone is heard. Knowing that as we navigate the conversations that are difficult, but needed, we are creating opportunities to become closer as family. Everyone’s not going to always agree on every point. Our job is to facilitate going forward with love demonstrating God’s plan and purpose for this holiday and our family gatherings to reestablish identity.

At the close of any family gathering on both sides of my family, we gathered in a circle, holding hands for a closing prayer. This prayer included the youngest to the oldest. I would say this is where my cousins and I learned to pray. It wasn’t big or showy, it was an expected part of our family identity.

You may want to choose someone in advance to pray so no one is put on the spot. For MANY years that person was my dad. The prayer can be short including: thankfulness for family members present and the joyous time shared, safety and protection as everyone parts and travels home, as well as safety and protection in our homes and jobs, and an increasing experience of God in our lives.

May our efforts to include all family members during this holiday season be an extension of God’s marvelous love expressed to humanity as recorded in John 3:16, “God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, so whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Let us demonstrate our great love for others by including them in our family gatherings and putting away any animosity that would harm our family identity.

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Several previous blogs that you might find helpful if you desire additional perspectives on quieting your mind and focusing on God are Has Fear Nested In Your Faith? and Is Your Journey Hopefull or Hopeless.

I find for myself the following four steps help me quiet my mind and focus on God.

Step 1: Maintain a Schedule

Whether you are working, retired, or a student, set and keep a schedule. The regularity of routine reduces stress. Two important factors include sleeping and eating. You don’t always have to set an alarm to keep a wake-up schedule. In our area, the birds are the alarm clock. For others, it may be the angle of the sun shining through the window. Whatever regularly wakes you up, get up with anticipation of a good day provided by God.

You also need to decide what your regular eating schedule may be. Some people do intermittent fasting. Others believe in three meals-a-day. Some eat only when they are hungry. Whatever you choose, being consistent in your meal times allows your body to function in the balance between rest and metabolism. If on certain occasions you are hungry or there is an opportunity to eat “off your schedule,” don’t let that become your stress. Maybe a lunch or coffee with a friend is just the moment you need to quiet your mind.

Additional regularly scheduled events may include your bath/shower, teeth brushing, and other personal care activities. When you keep these at regular scheduled times, again your body and mind are able to relax. This is especially important as you wind down for your evening, bedtime routine. While some people might claim that a schedule confines them, a schedule can free your mind of the constant chatter of “what’s next.”

Step 2: Ability to say, NO!

This may be very difficult at first. Too many times we don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings or think a task won’t get completed. No is your safety valve in protecting your time and your sanity. I spoke with a friend the other day, and the conversation was about getting people involved in an upcoming project. I told her I realized she was busy and I might need to ask someone else. She said, “You know, they say if you want to get something done, ask someone who is busy. You know they will finish the task.”

I’m getting better at saying no. Remember, if you set your schedule, you honestly can say “No” because you know it won’t fit into the time you have allotted. You are the only one who will protect you. One example in my life is being asked to bake treats for the Church Fellowship time on Sunday morning. I know that will take extra time on Saturday or early Sunday morning that doesn’t fit into my routine. I volunteered to give money on a regular basis to provide coffee, paper goods, and other items. I’m able to experience the comradery with the other ladies, and still protect my needed space.

There will be times that emergencies arise and we have no choice but to say yes. That is important in our loving compassion for those around us. But, if we are always saying yes, without regard for our own physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health; we have become slaves to the acceptance by other people. Remember, Jesus said in Mark 12:30-31 and Matthew 22:37-39, that the second commandment after loving the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, and strength is to “love your neighbor as yourself.” An anonymous writer states, “in order to be kind, compassionate, and generous to our neighbor, we must first be these things to ourselves.”

Step 3: Reduce Social Media and News

Check out the previous posts suggested. I look around and think that God never intended for humanity to be as busy as we are and as bombarded by electronic information that has mushroomed over the last several decades. This too can fit into your scheduled time. I can be a news junkie if left to my own devices. I have chosen not to start the day with news, because I wouldn’t find the “right” time to turn it off. I’d not want to miss the next “breaking news.” I have chosen to watch one-hour of lunch news and evening news. I avoid looking at FaceBook and other social media posts during my “working” hours. I give myself a limited time each evening to catch up on electronic news feeds or family FaceBook posts.

I know there are some people that live on their social media platforms. They are sitting and waiting to see the next comment or post. Too often this gets people trapped in the emotional drama that seems to permeate cyberspace that is far removed from the conventional norms of respectful discussion in a face-to-face environment. My husband has started to block and delete long-held friends. Not because they have differing opinions, but because of their hateful and nasty comments. Reading those types of comments created headaches, upset stomach, and sleepless nights. Again, you will be the only person who will take care of you. This is when repeating the Serenity Prayer can be helpful to detach from the actions of others.

Step 4: Surround Yourself with Positive People and Sounds

You really do have the ability to choose whom you surround yourself with. There are interactions that cannot be avoided, but you can limit the time spent with individuals that surround themselves with negative vibes. Begin to take assessment of the people in your life. Is it the people or could it be the location? There are some places you may find that are less than positive because of the music or the scenery. I’ve found that certain music in restaurants takes my mind back to the sadness of my adolescence.

This leads to your ability to choose the music or sounds within your environment. Make every effort to choose uplifting and encouraging sounds and sights that come into your eye and ear gates.

Furthermore, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are worthy love, whatsoever things are of good report, if there be any virtue, or if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:8

So, I encourage you to take a deep breath next time your mind seems to be off to the races to be fearful, discouraged, or overwhelmed with negative thoughts that won’t stop.  After that deep breath, quote the Serenity Prayer to remind yourself that you (and I) have NO control over others and their actions or reactions.  The only thing we do have control over is ourselves…and often that is a FULL TIME JOB!  Let go and let God! 

In the craziness of our world, it takes tremendous effort to find a quiet place. It takes time to quiet your mind and your heart before the Lord.

Francis Chan

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God sent a letter to His people when they had just lost. Because of the Jews’ idolatry and sin, God allowed Nebuchadnezzar, the ruler of Babylon, to destroy Jerusalem and carry most of the people captive back to Babylon. God told them that they were going to remain in Babylon for seventy years, but if they pray to Him and seek Him, He will hear, and they will find Him. He told them He has a hope and a future for them, and He would bring them back to their land.

But while God’s people were stuck in a foreign land, God told them to pray for the peace and prosperity of the city where they were held captive, because if it prospers, you too will prosper (Jeremiah 29:7).

Perhaps a more familiar passage is 1 Timothy 2:1-2. There Paul wrote that petitions, prayers, intercessions and thanksgiving be made for all people – for kings and all those in authority so that we may live peaceful and quiet lives.

In both the Old and New Testament, we are told that our lives will be better if we pray for the leaders of our government. And in both cases, the government was the enemy. I know I often do not think about praying for our leaders, and it seems an even harder task when you do not like them, but according to the Bible, our peace and prosperity depend on it.

I want to give you a few prayers for leaders to help get you started. Those in government are people just like us, but they often have unique challenges and responsibilities:

• “God, please save them. Many of our leaders do not know you. I may never have the chance to speak to them, God, but You can. Convict them of their sin and bring them to You. Show them Your love so that they may lead out of love and godliness.”

• “God, give our leaders wisdom. I sometimes have a hard time deciding what to wear, but those in government make decisions on behalf of thousands and millions of people. God, the Bible says that wisdom comes from You. Please give them wisdom and the humility to seek the advice of wise people around them.”

• “I pray for their families, God. Many leaders are under so much stress, have very busy schedules, and are away from home for extended periods of time. Their families are of course going to be affected by this. Protect them from those who would physically harm them and keep their families intact and strong.”

• “God, I ask that You enable our leaders to do their jobs and to do them well. Please let them work for our protection and peace. You have said that the government is to punish those who do evil and praise those who do good, so I pray that our leaders pass, enforce, and uphold just laws and provide an environment that allows people to do good and flourish. When government rules well, we can live in peace and open godliness. God, You said that this is pleasing to You because You desire all people to be saved. When Christians can live openly godly lives, loving their neighbors as themselves, more people will be drawn to You.”

And that is what we all want. We want to see our family, our friends, our co-workers, our country turn to God and experience His blessing. Don’t give up if our politics and government look bleak. Ask God to bless and change our leaders and turn our discouragement into praise.

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There really aren’t that many in Scripture, seven I think, but the question came up, “Why did God make so many holidays? Why did He even care about something like that?” In Leviticus, God calls the days memorials, and when referring to one of them, God said it was “so that each new generation will know.” Those special days were not only a reminder of who God is and what He did for the Jews of that time but also a way of teaching their children and grandchildren who God is.

So what does this have to do with Halloween? You may already know that Halloween’s original name was All Hallows Even (or Eve). It was shortened to Hallowe’en and then to Halloween. And just like Christmas Eve is the night before Christmas and New Year’s Eve is the night before New Year’s Day, All Hallows Eve was the night before All Hallows Day. All Hallows Day most likely can trace its roots back to a day set aside to honor Christian martyrs. By the 700s, the festival had evolved to include all saints and was consistently celebrated on November 1.

Well, all you need to do is walk the aisles of Target or look out your front window at the neighborhood decorations to know that the holiday has “evolved” a lot more since then. And while all that can be an issue to be dealt with by Christians, my point is that the holiday itself was originally an attempt to honor those who had given their lives for God’s glory. Some Christian traditions, on each day of the year, celebrate a different man or woman who lived their lives for God. As long as the people are not worshipped, this can be a great way to recognize God’s work in the life of His people and celebrate it. Just like the ancient Jews were told to observe special days to remind them of God’s goodness and use them as tools to teach their children, we can use our holidays now in the same way.

As I mentioned earlier, God called the weekly Sabbath day one of these holy, special days. We not only need a few special days each year, we need weekly (and daily!) reminders because we so quickly become anxious and forget the love and power of our God. Holidays can help us remember what God has done in the past, what He is doing in our lives and world now, and because He does not change, what He will do in the future. So use every chance you get to remind yourselves, your kids, your grandkids, and those around you who God is and what He has done in your life. Even Halloween.

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There are so many facets to this consideration that they certainly cannot be covered in a blog post, but yesterday I heard some things from Jeff Myers, the president of Summit Ministries, that I found helpful and wanted to share two of them with someone else who might be struggling to find a reason to vote.

Voting With Principles in Mind

The first is that there are principles, policies, and personalities. The founders of our country tried to form the nation based on principles we could all agree on, such as our rights do not come from the government but from God. From those principles, they made policies, and then the people elected the personalities to carry out those policies. But the personalities will always be in conflict, and what we have currently done is to put the personalities above the principles. We don’t like the person, so we won’t approve of anything they say or do. We have forgotten the principles that can unite us and are the unchanging basis of our laws and our very existence.

Good government, chosen on those principles, allows more people to be blessed and be a blessing. So the first takeaway is to vote on the basis of principles rather than the person.

Why Voting Matters Even When the Candidates Aren’t Perfect

The second idea is that the times will always be evil. The apostle Paul called his day evil (Ephesians 5:16), and they are certainly not good now. The evil doesn’t change. What changes is how we live in the time God placed us. With our vote, we aren’t to choose between the lesser of two evils but use our choice to lessen evil. Who will encourage standing up for the defenseless? Encourage policies that set people free, not seek to control? Insist on taking responsibility instead of taking away responsibility?

Mr. Myers related that in ancient Rome baby girls were not valued and would often be abandoned on the street to die. Christians would walk the streets, pick up these baby girls, and take them home to raise as their own because they believed all life was valuable. When the boy babies grew up, where were all the marriageable girls? They were in church. Many men converted to Christianity, some legitimately and some probably not, in order to marry the women. But either way, it enabled Christianity to spread throughout the Roman empire and through it, the gospel. Those Christians were not trying to change the world, but by their simple actions, they did.

Our single vote may not change the course of our nation overnight, but consistently taking a stand for good, for principles and not so much the people, allowing the government to make more room and space for good for more people, can and eventually will make a difference.

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Now, just the thought of walking around for an hour with cold, wet feet makes me cringe. And grabbing a bag of apples from Aldi or Kroger is simpler than moving ladders around, attempting to climb a tree. But there are still good reasons to make the effort to go pick some apples yourself:

1. Kids still like it – and it’s outdoors.
2. It’s a good way to see where some of our food comes from.
3. Warm apple cider doughnuts.
4. The apples do taste better right off the tree.
5. You can get some great autumnal photos – might even get your teens to go along without too much complaining if they know they can post on Instagram!
6. If you are prepared, it can still be fun for you too!

So how do you prepare for apple picking so that you and your family have a good time and make great memories for years to come?

1. Dress Appropriately

It is outdoors, so dress for the weather – and check the weather forecast. Avoid that wet-feet feeling by wearing some sort of boots (or you can wait until later in the day). Shoes good for traipsing around in an uneven field are essential. Wear sunglasses or a hat since you will be looking up into trees. And layer. Maybe a flannel or corduroy shirt over a t-shirt that you can take off and tie around your waist if the sun makes an appearance. And think about this for your kids too. You most likely won’t want to carry around a bunch of coats the rest of the day if they started out overdressed.

2. Pick Your Apples (Ahead of Time)

Call ahead to see what apples are being picked and to check for any change in hours. Know what kind of apples you want to buy. Many orchards offer samples before you pick. Some apples, like Honeycrisp, Gala, or Fuji are great for eating and baking, and others, such as Granny Smiths, make delicious pies and applesauce. Picking a variety can give everyone a chance to try out something new and find out what your family’s preference actually is.

3. Bring Containers

Bring bags for picking and maybe bring some sort of cushioning and containers to place between layers to avoid damaging your hard work! Some orchards do not take credit cards, so if that is an issue, check ahead. Also, some orchards might provide baskets and cushioning for you, it never hurts to ask!

4. Teach The Little Ones

If you have kids or grandkids with you, before you start picking your apples help them understand how to pick apples so they do not damage the tree or other apples – the ripe ones will come off with a gentle tug or twist. Weekends are busier, so plan to share the orchard with others.

5. Eat Doughnuts (They’re Apple So They’re Healthy, Right?)

If your orchard has fresh apple cider doughnuts, I recommend trying those. I do not even like apple cider, but the doughnuts at my local orchard are some of the best baked goods I have ever tasted!

Local Orchards With U-Pick Apples Near Dayton:

Are you craving apples yet? Here’s a list of orchards in the area that let you pick your own apples!

Stevens Family Orchard, Springfield (937) 788-2573

Tuken’s Orchard, West Alexandria (937) 687-3848

Iron’s Fruit Farm, Lebanon (513) 932-2853

Peifer Orchards, Yellow Springs (937) 767-2208

Monnin’s Fruit Farm, Dayton (937) 890-4536

A&M Orchard, Midland (513) 875-2500

Wesler Orchards, New Paris (937) 437-8921

Karnes Orchard, Hillsboro (937) 763-8250

Nana’s Orchard, Urbana (646) 872-4482

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Teachers are ready to start a year with new students, new excitement, and new expectations. A new school year includes creating fun bulletin boards, shiny workbooks, and fresh supplies.

Many teachers have spent the summer thinking about the themes and methods that will entice the restless students that will grace their classrooms. Some teachers have taken summer workshops to spruce up their own skills and certification.

Parents on the other hand are most often voicing, “I can’t wait until school starts,” because they are ready to send the children back to gain their own breath of sanity.

Parenting of today is not the “Ozzie and Harriet,” “My Three Sons,” or “Little House on the Prairie.” Children of that era lived in neighborhoods and communities that provided safe environments where children could play outside and expend the energy that is now pent-up and internalized.

Parents of today are often working long hours, or several jobs to make ends meet. They are tired and stretched between home, family, and job responsibilities.

Children have the most mixed reaction to going back to school. I believe this is dependent on the child’s learning style and their social needs. Children who are hands on, kinesthetic, tactile learners tend to not want to return to very rigid, structured classrooms. While students who like to read, write, and “play school” are ready to return.

Students who have a high desire to be with people are ready to return to school to hang out with their friends. However, students who are shy or don’t fit into a typical social group are dreading returning to school.

How can we make this back to school a win-win for teachers, parents, and students? The most powerful thing we can do is to PRAY!

Prayer needs to be specific. Let’s look at specific prayer requests for each of those returning to school.

Teachers

• Clarity of mind in planning
• Peacefulness in times of stress
• Joyful appreciation of unusual circumstances
• Flexibility to catch the moments of unplanned learning opportunities
• Ability to juggle the responsibilities of home and school

Parents

• Persistence in helping children back into a school routine
• Patience when children are not cooperating to return to school
• Determination to support the education process in creating a love for learning
• Providing a loving atmosphere that supports each child beyond their school results
• Ability to develop a schedule that is workable for the family

Students

• Willingness to try new concepts
• Safety when playing with others
• Focused attention to really hear what is being taught
• Protection against bullies and others who may not hold their own beliefs
• Ability to complete homework as independently as possible for their age

We all once were children. You can add to the list based upon what you would have hoped people were praying for you. Not everyone reading this may be or have been a parent, but you can always pray for what you wish your parents or teachers would have provided during your childhood.

God has given us a wonderful opportunity to contribute to our communities by creating a Godly environment for teachers, parents, and students. If you know teachers, call their names out specifically. Possibly give them a quick call or drop a note to let them know you are praying for them. Think of families you would like to contact and tell them you are praying for them. This would be greatly appreciated. Also, ask them for specific prayer requests. When you have the opportunity to talk to any young person, ask them how they are doing in school and if they have any special prayer requests.

Don’t grow weary in well-doing (Galatians 6:9). Praying specifically is a much needed support to the teachers, parents, and students on the front lines of learning. There is a spiritual battle raging against our children and families. In public schools teachers are often caught in the middle unable to share Jesus as the answer. Our prayer coverage opens spiritual opportunities for God to move mightily on behalf of our future generation. We want the students, families, and teachers to know Jesus as their savior and friend that sticks to them closer than a brother. That knowledge of Jesus is PRICELESS and ETERNAL!

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Statistically, that applies to about 90% of us, maybe even higher if we are talking only about women, because of the 10% of the world population that is left-handed, men are more likely to be left-handed than women. If you belong to a group that small, you are special, and that is why each August 13 is International Left-handers Day, a day to “celebrate the uniqueness and challenges of the left-handers community.”

Unless you are a part of this community, you most likely don’t give much thought to the challenges of being left-handed. I never did. I honestly don’t think I knew anyone who was left-handed for most of my life. But then I got some quick lessons when two of my sons turned out to be left-handers. I had never realized scissors were made for right-handers until my son was so frustrated because he was unable to cut anything, and then when school started, we found out together that spiral-bound notebooks just weren’t going to work.

Of course, these were not insurmountable obstacles. My sons are in their teens and twenties now and are doing just fine! And some notable lefties like Bill Gates, LeBron James, Keanu Reeves, Albert Einstein, Babe Ruth, Barack Obama, and Oprah Winfrey prove that being left-handed doesn’t need to be much of a hindrance at all. Most of those people would have grown up in a time when they probably had to just make do with what there was. Their moms weren’t ordering left-handed scissors or notebooks from Amazon for them to take to school.

But now we can. There are companies that make many kinds of products specifically for left-handers. If you’ve got one in your life – a friend, family member, or co-worker – take a minute to think about the specific challenges your left-hander might face. In the kitchen, a measuring cup they can read, a paring knife that cuts the right direction, or a can opener that isn’t trying to kill them. For the garage or workshop, there are measuring tapes, pruners, utility knives, and saws. And for the home or office, you can find left-handed keyboards and mice.

I bet you never really thought about such basic tools and utensils being “unhandy” for a left-hander, but if you know a lefty, let this year’s Left-handers Day remind you to be a little more understanding and maybe even find a way to help them out.

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The father quietly told the other man that he would have to back up. The man argued that the father and his son could back up just as easily as he could. They began to argue about it, and finally, the father looked the other in the face and said, “If you do not back up, I’m afraid I am going to do something I’m going to regret.”

The man looked at the father and began backing his horse and buggy down the road. The father and his son remained still, giving the man the opportunity to get out of their way. The son, who had been raised in a Christian tradition that taught that the use of force, violence, and power was not right, was astonished. He turned to his father and asked, “Dad, what were you going to do that you were going to regret?”

His father answered, “I was going to back up.”

This is a humorous story about regret, but regret is usually not very funny. Sometimes, we’ll say, “I wish I had painted the walls blue” or “I really wanted chocolate ice cream,” but more often, regret kind of kicks you in the stomach and takes your breath away. The word regret comes from a word that means “to look back with distress; to grieve on remembering.” That more closely describes how we feel when we truly regret something.

A long time ago, I said something to my dad, and it wasn’t until many years later that I found out he didn’t understand and was hurt that whole time. Now, I would give anything to go back and clear things up, but – I think this is the hardest thing about regret – I can’t. Once we do or say whatever it is, there are no takebacks. It is forever out there, and there is often nothing we can do. Is there anything we can do to move past those feelings of regret?

Sometimes, I think we can. If it was a wrong we committed, a sin against someone, God offers complete forgiveness when we admit our wrong and confess to Him. The feeling of guilt will be replaced by forgiveness. Perhaps, we aren’t able to make amends to the person we’ve wronged, but God can give us peace about the things we cannot change.

But what if it wasn’t a sin that can necessarily be “fixed” by confessing? Maybe it was just a mistake or a misunderstanding – but it did forever change the way things went. I find it helps to remind ourselves that we are human and we sometimes do dumb things. I know my dad would forgive me if I could talk to him and wouldn’t want me to hurt this long. Another help is to know that God can turn bad into good. I know I try to be more careful with my words so that the same kind of misunderstanding doesn’t happen again, and I also know God comforts us so that we can comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:4). Helping another person through the pain of their regret will be beneficial for you both.

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Our world is being bombarded by information overload every day. Most of this information can generate fear. The question is, “What do we do with this fear?” Do we let it fly over our head, or do we let it settle and make a nest within our life?

God would have us to acknowledge the information, discern the truth, and TRUST in Him for the outcomes. Trusting God for the outcomes doesn’t mean we are without responsibility.

Let’s look at each of these steps to avoid allowing fear to nest in our lives.

Acknowledge the Information

We cannot be uninformed and put our heads in the sand because the news is overwhelming. We may need to regulate the amount of information ingested per day and attempt to get a wide range of sources so as not to be one-sided in the “slant” of narratives that fill the airwaves.

In our modern world of technology we must take greater responsibility to realize that just because it is on TV or print does not guarantee that it is truth.

This leads to our next step of preventing fear from nesting in our lives.

Discern the Truth

We are told in 2 Timothy 2:15 (MSG) to “Concentrate on doing your best for God, work you won’t be ashamed of, laying out the truth plain and simple.” Discernment usually should include additional research on your part and continued prayer asking God to open the eyes of your heart. 2 Corinthians 10:5 tells us

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

We need to become mature Christians and “continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12 NIV).

Maturity feeds our trust in God.

Trust in God

In one of my devotionals I found the following quote of Jesus speaking: “I am nearer than you think, richly present in all your moments….The more aware of my presence the safer you feel.”

What have we been doing in our life to cultivate the presence of God? His presence in our lives casts out fear. His presence is based upon us knowing His love for us. (1 John 4:18 NIV)

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Our job as Christians is to take what we see and hand it over to our God who is unseen. Our job is to gain confidence in God; above and beyond what we see. (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

The Bible goes on and gives us practical action to build and protect our faith against the flaming darts of fear. (Ephesians 6:10-18 NIV)

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Final Thoughts

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 8:13). Since we know that, we also have evidence that supports God’s declaration in Deuteronomy 31:6 NIV.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Paul exhorts the Christians of his day with the following words (Philippians 4:4-9 NIV). May these words also comfort you as to the alternate thoughts that will assist you to not allow fear to nest in your life.

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

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One of my moments of humiliation was when I was a young, awkward introvert with very limited public speaking experience. I was “asked” (voluntold) to speak to a group of several hundred women attending a women’s retreat. It was not in a small, intimate setting to help me feel relaxed, but in a large auditorium, up on a stage with a mic.

Well, that brief speaking engagement was one of my lifelong embarrassing moments. I should have just run from the venue, but I sputtered and stammered and rambled on in complete nonsense. I did receive some pity applause at the end which made it even worse.

That was probably not the most embarrassing thing I have ever done, but it is the one, for me, most associated with an event. That women’s retreat was over twenty years ago, but I still internally cringe when I hear the words “women’s retreat.” But the feeling passes quickly because at the same retreat, many good things happened. Despite the fiasco, people were kind and included me, I met many fun women, I made a friend, and I got one of the best recipes I own. (Best Chocolate Chip Scone Recipe)

I know that going to a women’s retreat can be scary – even if you never have to be up on stage. “I don’t know anyone else going.” “What if no one talks to me?” Or maybe you don’t find meeting new people intimidating, but you do feel overwhelmed with work, and you need your weekend to rest and recover. “And who will feed my husband and kids?”

Hope 100.7 and Light 93.7 are now taking registrations for their second annual Hope & Light Women’s Retreat in August. You may have heard ads for it, but if you haven’t, click here for more information or to register. Even though the words “women’s retreat” instantly (but briefly) bring up bad memories for me, I know that when I go, I come away happy and glad I went. I often find a freedom spending time with other Christian women that you don’t find too many other places – freedom to have fun, to be honest, and to trust.

I don’t know if you’ll leave with the best recipe ever, but I do think you will meet other women and have fun – and I promise no one will make you go up on stage and give a speech!

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It’s the end of the school year, so perhaps you, too, have been faced with a similar situation. The cost does seem to be, in some cases, prohibitive, especially if you have more than one child in school. I understand that because fewer people are buying them, the cost is spread over fewer people. And the fact that most schools no longer have a yearbook club or class means that schools have to pay to outsource what students and volunteers used to do to get the yearbook ready to print.

But not even wanting a yearbook? To those of us, perhaps, of a certain age, that is unbelievable! I’m sure you remember getting your yearbook at school and then trading it all around with your friends so they could sign it and then working up the courage to ask your crush to sign it too. You had to act all casual like you weren’t asking only him to sign it, so you had to ask other boys too. Then that night after school, you and your close friends would get together at someone’s house and read all the little messages. Some were dull like “Have a great summer!” or “Have a great life!” if it was your senior year yearbook. But then you read all the more personal ones to your friends and tried to interpret what the guy you had a crush on meant (or what you hoped he meant) in his note.

I don’t know if I’m just a little too old, but I still prefer physical pictures. I do appreciate digital because it is so easy to post on Facebook or send to Grandma, and unless you are a master organizer, many of your physical photos are still in a box somewhere. But I have noticed people actually will pick up a book of photos and flip through the memories, but not so much digital ones. Unless I have a reason to go searching through my photos on my computer, I never do just look at them.

I know all the yearbook information is digitized and accessible, for now at least. I don’t know how you get a boy to sign it, but maybe there are ways. And I hope the technology needed for kids to view the images of their school years hangs around for them to use. I know you aren’t getting out your old yearbooks every week or even every year, but every once in a while, it’s kind of fun, and maybe even healing, to value your past experiences and stir up memories of your youth.

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But not all of us. Your mom may not have been patient and kind. If you had to describe her, the words manipulative, distant, controlling, and petty might come to mind–maybe even abusive. But when God gives the Israelites the Ten Commandments, recorded in Exodus 20, He says, Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. And so we don’t mistakenly think that the command applies only to Old Testament Jews, Paul repeats it in the book of Ephesians: “Honor your father and mother”–which is the first commandment with a promise–“so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”

God knows there are bad, dishonorable mothers on the earth. Before the Ten Commandments were even recorded, Moses related several examples of less-than-stellar moms. Lot’s wife and Sarah (and Ishmael) come to mind. Later, we read of Athaliah, who counseled her son to do wicked things and killed her grandchildren (2 Chronicles 22), and Mark 6 tells the story of Herodias using her daughter to have an enemy killed. These women were manipulative, controlling, and abusive–certainly seemingly not worthy of honor. So what is God asking of us?

I heard a sermon a long time ago, back when my children were quite small, that answered this question, but I never really understood it until my kids had grown up. The person said that you honor your parents by living your life so that it reflects well on your family, your parents. One of my greatest joys in life is talking about my grown-up kids. Jobs, awards, promotions, engagements, weddings, babies–you will hear it all from me first, and I will include all the details. I am so proud of them I want everyone to know what they are doing.

You’ve seen those movies where a woman is bragging that her son is a surgeon or a lawyer. She is proud and is boasting about his accomplishments. She feels honor and pride because of the person her child has become. That’s it. You become someone that is worthy of bragging about, and it throws honor on your parents. They are esteemed because of what you have done.

But remember, this honor is in God’s thinking, so it isn’t necessarily going to be the position of most prestige or wealth, but of one that God would honor. Be a person who loves, sacrifices, serves. Be gentle, kind, and faithful, and you will be honoring your parents whether or not they had anything to do with the kind of person you’ve become.

I hope you have the kind of mother who is easy to honor, but even if you don’t, you can honor her–and God at the same time.

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This phrase goes back to a poem from 1610 that includes the line “Sweet April showers, do spring May flowers.” In our climate here, spring flowers usually appear before the rains come and are affected more by warmth than by rain, but this poem most likely originated in Ireland where April is especially rainy, and the cooler climate delays the flowers until May. Whether the saying is true for us or not, by April, we are tired of the dull gray of the end of winter and want the colors of spring.

Last week I visited one of my sons and his wife. They recently moved from an apartment to a house and are eager to make the plain yard look more alive and welcoming with plants and flowers. Really eager. They showed me a spreadsheet they had created that included photos of each of the flowerpots they owned and each pot’s dimensions and volume so they could estimate how much soil they needed. Then another page matched each pot with photos of the kinds of flowers they wanted in each, along with those flowers’ sun and water needs.

I’m more of a “show up at Lowe’s Garden Center and pick out pretty flowers” kind of girl. I have brought no spreadsheet or helpful information along–I just buy the ones that look pretty to me at the time. And it usually works out well enough, but I’m sure my son’s will look much nicer–and will probably not require so many return trips to the store!

I would guess somewhere in between would be a good place to be. When you head to the store, take at least some basic knowledge with you. Think about sun and water requirements. Plants that like shade will not do well in full sun. Consider plant heights and layer plants by height. Pick a plant to be a focal piece and work out from there, taking into account textures and shapes. You can decide on a color scheme that complements your space–or if you prefer a more eclectic look, you can just pick one of everything!

If planting flowers is too difficult for you, I want to make a personal recommendation. I have a spot of ground that is hard to take care of, so last year, I bought a bag of seeds at Walmart. It was a wildflower mix by Burpee. It came in two different combinations–a hummingbird/butterfly mix and a perennial mix. All I needed to do was rake the soil and then sprinkle the seeds on the dirt. Add a little water, and they grew amazingly well. Hundreds of flowers grew and bloomed for quite a long time.

If you are able, take the time to plant some flowers this year. It will bring smiles to both you and everyone going by.

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You probably also noticed the news coverage being a little more intense because much of the Dayton/Cincinnati area is in what they call the “path of totality.” This path of totality is where the darkest shadow of the moon completely covers the sun. If you are outside this path, you will see a partial eclipse, but you won’t be able to see the corona, the sun’s atmosphere, and there will not be total darkness. I’ve seen it described as “interesting, but not memorable.”

But I have also heard that hotel rooms in the area have been booked for months and authorities have been warning spectators to have plenty of fuel and food in their vehicles in case there are crowds and traffic jams when the eclipse is over. So, is getting into this path of totality worth it? I was wondering that myself when I found this description (see it here) written by Eric Davis, a pastor in Wyoming. He was able to be in the path of totality for the 2017 eclipse. He wrote this:

But the total solar eclipse was like nothing I have ever seen before. There were those final, eerie, darkening minutes before totality. The bizarre feeling as it went from day to night in about 90 seconds. Cows mooing hysterically in the field next to me. The beads of light peering through the moon’s craters. The diamond ring effect. The temperature instantly dropped fifteen degrees. Then, totality. The sun’s atmosphere blasting forth in praise to God; the white, jagged rays bursting from behind the blackened moon for a full two minutes. And there was the 360 degree sunset (two sunsets in one day!). It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. It was utterly stunning; a spectacle that is emblazoned in my mind forever. I’m still wondering if I really saw it as it was completely different than anything in all creation. I can almost understand why humans have venerated that ball of burning hydrogen for millennia.

Eric Davis

Another author, who operates the site www.eclipse2024.org, said that those who are watching even a 99.9% eclipse will not experience the “full, jaw-dropping, knee-buckling, emotionally-overloading, completely overwhelming spectacle” that those in the path of totality will encounter.

So, I’ve decided to risk the traffic and the crowds in order for my family and I to experience this once-in-a-lifetime event. It seems worth it. I hope you decide to go too.

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I think a lot of us wear new clothes at Easter or at least have fun dressing up our kids or grandkids in brand new Easter outfits. But have you wondered why we wear new clothes for Easter? It is a long-standing tradition that goes clear back to the early Christians. It is believed that people wore white linen to identify with the resurrection of Christ. It’s easy to see how it can symbolize purity and the leaving behind of the dark, sinful past, looking ahead to a heavenly future made possible through Christ’s death and resurrection where our sins are washed “white as snow.”

In the early years of the fourth century, Emperor Constantine was responsible for setting a fixed date for the celebration of Easter. Before that, the dating of Easter was disputed and observed at different times of the year throughout the Roman world. Easter was an important holiday to Constantine, and he believed that such a sacred day should not be a cause of division but should be celebrated by all at the same time. Furthermore, Constantine is said to have required his court to wear all new clothes on Easter, and over time, wearing new clothes on Easter came to symbolize, for all Christians, the newness of life given to us by Christ.

Sometimes, the meaning may get lost in the pageantry. Irving Berlin’s famous “Easter Parade” song was inspired by churchgoers in New York City after the Civil War. People in their Sunday best would all leave the many churches that lined 5^th Avenue and walk down the street to dine, visit others, or just go for a stroll. This stroll was especially popular on Easter Sunday when dressmakers would actually sit on the street to sketch the latest fashions and reproduce them for stores soon after.

While those people most likely had forgotten the meaning behind new coats and dresses, I found it sad to read that the interest in the Easter Parade has died not because of an awareness of consumerism and pride, but because of a lack of interest in religion at all. So don’t let clothes, new or not, keep you from joining with others to celebrate the most important day of the year. New clothes can express our joy on Easter Sunday, but a new heart proclaims it every day of the year.

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Even if you don’t consider yourself a musician, you are probably pretty familiar with certain songs or a band or singer. Often that is because certain songs hold special meaning for us. Perhaps it was the song you first danced to or your mother’s favorite song that brings to mind memories of young love or a mother’s embrace. Hearing a song you used to sing to your babies puts those grown up kids back in your arms again.

Valentine’s Day is coming up, and I don’t usually associate music with Valentine’s Day, but as you know, much Christian music is about love. God is love and the desire for and ability to love comes straight from God. And just as other songs provoke memories, songs of God’s love are powerful reminders of His love for us. So, I made up a little Valentine’s Day playlist for you. No matter what you’re doing or feeling this Valentine’s Day, remember God loves you!

1. “Love Has Come” (Mark Schultz) is a summary of God’s greatest show of love for us.

2. “Jesus and You” (Matthew West) expresses gratefulness for both his wife and his heavenly Father. Both keep him going. “Why you both promised me forever God, I’ll never understand.”

3. “I Am Yours” (Need to Breathe). When we are aware of how undeserving we are, God’s love seems even more overwhelming than it already is.

4. “Going Together” (Dan Bremnes) is an adorably cute Instagram love story. Watch the video on this one!

5. “Heart of God” (Zach Williams) is a beautiful song musically but is also a powerful reminder that even when we stray away from God, He is there waiting to welcome us home.

6. “Loved by You” (Riley Clemmons) reminds us that God loves us. I “don’t have to wonder who I belong to.”

7. “How Much You Mean to Me” (Blessing Offor) Life is bad before we know God’s love and hope. “No song could ever contain” God’s love. Blessing writes that it is the only thing that never lets him down.

8. “Crazy About You” (Tauren Wells) Wells sings that God loves you so much, even in your sin and failures, that He gave up heaven for you to come down and bring you to Himself.

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True hope is not a wishful thinking of something desired; true hope is found in a personal relationship and covenant with God through Jesus Christ.  That is a mouthful that often gets stated, but the true meaning and impact of that hope is lost in the rote repetition and mindless rehearsal we often give to scripture.

Music is a great way to infuse your whole being with the meaning of scripture.  One song that resonates with hope for me is “The Solid Rock.”

My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood  and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand: All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness veils His lovely face, I rest on His unchanging grace; In ev’ry high and stormy gale, My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood, support me in the whelming flood; When all around my soul gives way, He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound, O may I then in Him be found: Dressed in His righteousness alone, faultless to stand before the throne.

On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand: All other ground is sinking sand.

(Lyrics Edward Mote and Music William B. Bradbury 1863)

Look at the date of the writing of “The Solid Rock.”  It was written during the American Civil War.  Our current world conditions may push us into a dark and hopeless direction if we ONLY look at the physical world surrounding us.

God wants us to look at Him and place our HOPE in HIM and not our circumstances. Circumstances will rise and fall.  If our hope is attached to those circumstances our emotions will also rise and fall.

God has established Himself to us as THE SOLID ROCK.  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  He has known and knows history from the end to the beginning.  He knows the plans He has for each of us, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.  You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

As we approach this New Year, let our glimmer of HOPE for a fresh start, of “off with the old and on with the new” be grounded in making Jesus the center of our focus.  With Him as our focus and foundation “all other ground will be sinking sand.”

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I have heard some Christians say that we shouldn’t be sad in disappointment because it meant that it just wasn’t God’s timing or His will. While that may be true, it doesn’t mean our pain isn’t real or is somehow wrong. I think all of us, as humans created in God’s image, long for everything to be perfect, our souls and even our bodies crave to live in the world we were originally created for. But we don’t yet, so how do we deal with the disappointments of our lives now?

I think the first thing to do when disappointment comes is just cry out to God – maybe even literally. Remembering that He cares more about you than anyone else, knows everything that happens, and knows already how you feel is a good first step for handling whatever comes.

Then when we have remembered that our help comes from the Lord (Psalm 121:1), we can go to His Word to hear what He has to say to us. The entire Bible is a testament to God’s love, mercy, and care for us, but here are five verses that I think will help pull us through and out of the pain of our disappointment:

The faithful love of the Lord never ends!

(Lamentations 3:22)

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

(Psalm 34:18)

As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

(Isaiah 55:9)

My God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

(Philippians 4:19)

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Philippians 4:6-7)

In summary: God loves us, He knows our disappointment and pain, He’s God (and we’re not), He will give us everything we need, and when we ask Him, with thanksgiving, He will give us peace. This is how God answers us when we cry out to Him with our disappointment. Trusting Him is the surest way to hope and out of disappointment.

One day, all our expectations–and more–will be met. There will be no more sin, betrayal, or pain, no more disappointment. Believing and trusting the One who will make all this happen is the surest way to deal with our disappointment and find hope in Him.

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